Book Review: Hell Yes!

Note: Normally I don’t use strong language on my sites, but felt that the message and the experience of reading this book definitely outweighs any language issues. In my opinion, anyway. 

I tend to be a nice person. What I mean by this, is that I tend to avoid conflict and try as much as possible to be accommodating – within reason. I hate disagreeing with people and causing issues, unless I feel very, very strongly about something. As a result of this, I have a habit of over-committing myself – both in my personal and blogging lives. It’s something I’ve always known about myself – and my husband has often pointed it out as well.

My problem is usually that I feel I *should* be doing more, or that I’ve said no before so out of fairness need to say yes. Or I underestimate (sometimes badly) the amount of time things will take. These are common issues, especially among women – which is what led Elizabeth Cogswell Baskin to write the book “Hell Yes! Two Little Words for a Simpler, Happier Life”.

What it is:

Hell Yes! is a little book, in both size and simplicity. But it gives out a message that is huge – “If it’s not a “Hell Yes!, then it’s a “Hell No!”. Sounds easy, right? But in our lives nowadays, it’s not always so cut and dried – at least we don’t think so. The premise of this book is that it really is just that easy.

Here’s a synopsis of the book:

The idea is that we all do too much. We take on extra projects at work (especially in this economy) that aren’t a good use of our time because we want to be seen as team players. We end up on PTA committees, serving as assistant coaches with Little League, organizing our third cousin’s bridal shower, serve on multiple committees at our church, volunteer, chaperon the middle school dance, chauffeur our kids to sports (and music/tutoring/second language/etc. lessons), attending pointless meetings at work because someone in another department asked for our input…I’m getting tired just writing it, and I’ve only scratched the surface!

Individually, these are all great things to do, but collectively, they can overload our lives. And, especially for parents, who have to place a priority on their children’s needs, it’s easy for their own needs to get lost in the shuffle.

The basic premise of Hell Yes!, is that when something comes up that you will need to commit yourself to, ask if it’s a “Hell Yes.” If it is, do it! If it’s not, it’s a “Hell No!” This one simple question cuts to the heart of the matter, allowing you to focus on what’s most important to you and your family, and compels you to say no to things that fall in the gray area, where you aren’t excited about them, but they aren’t heinous to you either.

Hell Yes! was published in March of 2009 by Andrews McMeel Publishing, and is 96 pages long (hardcover – 6”x5” in size).

Courtesy of the Family Review Network, I received a copy of this book to read and review.

Here’s my take on it:

I was intrigued by this book when I first heard of it – not so much because of the title, but more due to the idea of a little book like this really being able to help organize and de-clutter my life. I wanted to know more about this “Hell Yes! principle”.

And yes, it really is just that simple – asking yourself the question, “Is it a Hell Yes?” whenever an opportunity comes up or you’re asked to do something. If the answer is ‘no’, then you say no. The book goes into more detail about why saying no isn’t always a ‘bad’ thing – there may be someone else out there for whom that same opportunity would be a Hell Yes, and who would be more passionate about whatever the project or commitment is. That makes sense to me – but I guess you do need to weigh in your own mind (or ask) how far down you are on the ‘list’ of people to ask. If there are a lot of other possibilities, I would have a much easier time saying no, than if I were the last option, for example. Then again, that may just be why I’m over-committed to begin with…. LOL

The main idea of this book is to not be afraid to say no – and keep your life committed to the things that truly inspire you. By doing so, you’ll enjoy your life more, not be so stressed out over fitting everything in, and maybe even end up with free time left over. Hmm, sounds good to me! 

The book vs. the title:

I feel the need to address this point specifically – especially since I focus on family-friendly reviews and this book is definitely one that I wouldn’t want my own kids asking about – at least not about the title, anyway. I get the reason behind the title – to make the point of the book stand out more, and to simplify the idea the book gives – about being passionate in your answer, whether it is a yes or a no. I think this message is important enough to (in my case) overlook the title – although it’s not a book I would feel comfortable leaving out on a table or shelf in my own home since ‘H*ll’ is not a word that I myself use on a regular basis. But that’s up to every person or parent to decide for their own families.

Through reading the author’s blog, I learned that one large book retailer has refused to stock the books on its in-store shelves due to the title, although it is available on their website or they’ll order it for you if you ask. Again, I can see the point – with kids of reading age, I know this could be an issue for my family when shopping at this particular store (which we frequent a lot). However, I do also feel sorry for the many people who could benefit from this book but will never have the opportunity to find it.

I also appreciate that the author’s thought about the need for this type of principle in kids’ lives as well – they also can have difficulty saying ‘no’ when it comes to over committing their schedules. Her blog post is titled, “Teaching kids to say Heck No” and I see a great opportunity there for her to write a companion book aimed at kids. 

Do you need the ‘Hell Yes principle’ in your life?:

Here are some fun questions (directly from the book’s author) to ask yourself in order to get a better handle on if this book could help you lead “a simpler, happier life”:

1. Do your days generally feel:
    A. Roomy and relaxed
    B. Busy but manageable?
    C. Frantic and stressed?

2. If someone you consider a nice person asks you to do something and you really don’t want to do it, do you:
    A. Say thanks, but no thanks?
    B. Spend hours trying to decide if you should do it or not?
    C. Say yes, even though you don’t really feel like it?

3. Let’s say you see a pair of shoes on sale. They’re not perfect, but it’s an unbelievable price for a great designer. Do you:
    A. Keep walking?
    B. Get them, knowing you could always return them?
    C. Buy them?

4. Someone brings brownies to the office. You’ve been avoiding sweets to get ready for swimsuit season. Do you:
    A. Skip the brownies?
    B. Take one brownie and enjoy it thoroughly?
    C. Break off a tiny piece of brownie every time you walk by?

What do you think? Do you need this book? Well, if you answered mostly A’s, then you definitely are able to identify a Hell No. If mostly B’s, then you’ll want to remember to use the Hell Yes principle a bit more often. And if you picked mostly C’s, you apparently need this book more than you realized!

The bottom line:

Title aside, I love how this book breaks down a very complex topic – there are so many reasons why we over-obligate ourselves, into one very simple yet eloquent question. One that I will be making every effort to apply in my own life, so that I not only can focus on those things that are important to me – but also to make sure that I am able to put the time and energy that those commitments need, and deserve, into them so I can feel proud of the accomplishment itself – not just the fact that I was able to complete it.

Where can you find it?:

Hell Yes! is available through several national book retailers online, including Amazon. The list price is $9.99. You can also find the book in many independent bookstores around the country.

This post courtesy of:

No payment or compensation, other than product samples as described above, was received for this post.